My Big Brother
by XxYesterdayTodayTomorrowxX
Summary: Sally and Paul are bound to have kids sometime, right? This is a collection of one-shots not necessarily in chronological order about Percy and that child. AU-ish. Shippings included. Will be updated as new one-shots are thought up but for all intents and purposes it is completed.
1. Daycare confusion

**New story guys! This is about the relationship Percy has with his new little sister! No, not by Poseidon, but by Sally and Paul! This will be dealing with all sorts of scenarios imaginable, and IDEAS ARE ALWAYS WELCOME! So, without further ado, let's start this thing!**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Percy Jackson. If I did, Thalico and Leyna would have hapenned. (And there will be both of those in here.)**

**ENJOY!**

* * *

Percy was enjoying a day out with his friends, when his phone rang.

Yes, "Demigods don't have phones!" and blah dee blah. But recently Hephaestus created monster-proof technology to thank the demigods for helping the gods win the war against Gaea. Now, demigods are up to date with the newest stuff.

"Sorry guys, gotta take this," he told his friends. "Be back soon."

His mom's voice rang in his ear. She sounded frantic.

"Percy!" she exclaimed.

"Yeah mom?"

"Can you pick Valia up from daycare? It's Parent-teacher conference day at Goode, and I'm stuck in a traffic jam!" she said frantically.

"Sure, mom. I'll be there soon. She'll get home safely," Percy said.

"Oh, thank you, Percy. I don't know what I'll do without you!"

"Bye mom!"

Percy walked back to his friends. "Guys, we're picking up my little sister."

* * *

Valia Blofis, born the year before. She is, according to Percy, the most adorable little girl in existence. Daughter of Sally and Paul Blofis, and haf-sister to Percy Jackson. Problem is, those two are literally seventeen years apart. So people somethimes get the wrong idea. Like today, for example.

* * *

Percy hesitantly opened his sister's daycare's front door. He stepped inside slowly and tried to scout out his sister. Now, this wasn't the first time he went there, but this _was_ the first time he went there _alone_.

"Yes? May I help you?" a woman asked him.

"Um... I'm here to pick up Valia Blofis?" Percy told her.

The woman grinned widely. "Ah! Little Valia! Lovely girl, that one is! Very cheerful! Just a moment, sir. I'll go get her," the woman said before walking off to fetch his sister.

* * *

As soon as Valia set her eyes on him, she squealed and launched herself into his arms after taking a few wobbly steps. The caretaker smiled and cooed at the scene.

"Where's your stuff?" Percy asked Valia.

"The!" Valia said cheerfully while pointing at one of the hooks. **("The!" is pronounced as "There!" but without the 're')**

"Alrighty then! Let's get you ready, and go home," Percy said, taking Valia's bag and coat from the hook.

Valia cheered and clapped her hands. Percy smiled warmly.

As Percy tried to put her coat on her, the toddler exclaimed, "No! Me do!"

Percy chuckled and handed the coat to the pouting girl. Elated, she took the coat from her brother's hands and proceeded to put it on... backwards. She flashed Percy a toothy grin. Then she looked down at herself, only to receive her hood in the face.

"Oopsie," she chirped. Percy laughed and took the coat off of her.

"You do, huh?" he asked teasingly.

Valia pouted as Percy out her coat on the right way. Then even if she insisted on putting on her backpack herself, Percy put it on for her. She gave him puppy dog eyes.

"Naaawwww... Don't give me that look..." Percy whined.

"You meanie!" she said.

The caretaker watched their interaction with amusement and adoration. It was always nice to see the kids and their parents together.

"Up-py!" Valia said, and Percy obliged, planting a kiss on her temple. The caretaker could see the love he had for the girl.

"You seem like a very nice young man. She sure is lucky to have a father like you," she said. Percy blushed beet red.

"Um... That is, I'm um... She's not... Um... Well, actually, I'm um... Her older brother," he stuttered. He was sure he sounded like an idiot, and if Annabeth were there, it would be the perfect time for her to call him a Seaweed Brain.

Valia spotted her older brother's face and giggled. "Pewrcy rwed!" she trilled.

The woman's eyes widened. "Oh! I'm sorry! I thought with the age gap that you were her father!" she squeaked.

"Oh, it's okay, I guess. I am much older than she is... Well! We better get going! My friends are waiting outside," Percy said sheepishly.

"Bye bye lady!" Valia said cheerfully before the pair stepped out of the building.

* * *

"Hey, Kelp Head, why is your face all red?" Thalia asked Percy when he came out.

"Yeah, Percy! You didn't meet someone else, did you?" Leo asked teasingly. Annabeth's eyes flared.

"Well, geez, Annabeth doesn't look happy," Nico said sarcastically.

"Damn right I'm not!" Annabeth hissed.

Percy transfered Valia into Reyna's arms. Believe it or not, Reyna was actually excellent with children. He then circled his arms around his girlfriend's waist and kissed her, Reyna covering Valia's eyes.

"OMIGODS! Don't do that here! Aaaaahhh! My eyes!" Thalia screamed.

"Shut up, Pinecone Face! Not like you don't do any PDA with Death Breath over there!" Annabeth said.

Thalia turned bright red while Nico kissed the top of her head.

"I still don't understand how those two got together," Percy mumbled.

Annabeth slapped him upside the head. "There is such a thing as bisexual people, Seaweed Brain."

"Yes, but Thalia and Nico?"

"Shut up and just be happy for them," Annabeth scolded.

The friends walked to Percy's apartment laughing and teasing, hoping that blue cookies would be waiting for them.

* * *

Through the window, the caretaker watched the scene unfold. As she watched the group walk away, she shook her head in amusement, wondering how a one year old can stand all that.

* * *

**Aaaaaannnddd, done! How was it! Should I continue it?**

**So, obviously, this is one of my rare, lighthearted fics. Cause four out of twelve, including this one, has nothing sad in it. Although it might change soon. So this is like, half.**

**Btw, I don't know if Nico is bi or not. I just made him bi for the sake of Thalico and all the girls crushing on Nico out there. (Including me ;])**

**Everything will be explained soon. Don't you worry. Well, it will be explained if you want me to comtinue this. Do you! Leave me a review! Five reviews and I update! Favs and follows are also appreciated.**

**See y'all next time! **

**~XxYesterdayTodayTomorrowxX**


	2. Even Worse than a Dad

**Wharrup? I'm on an updating spree this week! :p**

**So, I was reading random text convos on Google images, and got inspiration for this. So, without further ado, another one-shot!**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Percy Jackson. But I do own Valia.**

* * *

(Valia is 16, Percy is 33)

Percy, Annabeth, Nico, and Thalia were in Camp Jupiter that summer. Percy and Annabeth because they wanted to, Thalia because she was visiting Jason, and Nico because he wanted to follow Thalia, and he kinda had to since they got married a few years ago, and he couldn't take care of the kids by himself.

How did this happen? Well, let's say, Nico got over Percy, and Thalia quit the hunt to be with Nico. No, Artemis did not turn her into a Jackalope, since she didn't join for the same reasons as the other girls. They started hanging out, then BAM! One day, they just got together, and have been going strong ever since. Well, strong-ish, at least. They have this kind of Love-Hate relationship in public. They got married, had kids, and lived happily-ish ever after.

No, really. They did.

Percy and Annabeth also had children of their own. Twins Theseus "Theo" and Andromeda "Andy" Jackson. And they were at their devil age. Meaning four years old. Joy.

"Daddy! Daddy! Theo wet my ice cream with his water bottle!" Andy screamed.

Andy got the water controlling powers. So Theo carried a water bottle everywhere. So he wouldn't lose to his sister.

"Not true! Not true! Andy dropped her ice cream, and I was just helping to clean it up! So I put water on it!" Theo exclaimed.

"No way! You wet my ice cream when it was still in my hand!"

"Did not!"

"Did too!"

"Did not!"

"Did too!"

"Did NOT!"

"Did TOO!"

"NOT!"

"TOO!"

"Kids! Stop it!" Percy cried, exasperated.

The two children stopped bickering and looked at their father with wide eyes.

"Yes, daddy?" they said in unison in their most innocent voice.

Percy sighed. "Let's not worry about this, okay? I'll get you both new ice creams. Now, who wants to call aunt Valia?" he said, holding up a golden drachma.

Andy squealed and snatched the gold coin from her father's hand. She clumsily made a rainbow with the remaining water in her brother's bottle, with the help of Percy, of course, since she was too young to properly use her powers, and tossed the drachma inside.

"Oh, Iris, Goddess of the rainbow, accept our offering. Show us Valia Blofis, New York," Theo chanted. He has done this so many times his voice didn't waver anymore.

The drachma dissapeared and a picture of Valia curled up on the couch is shown.

"Auntie Vally! Why are you crying?!" Andy and Theo said together.

"What?! She's crying?!" Percy exclaimed and flipped the mist so the message was facing him.

"Kids, run along now. Go pester uncle Leo or something," Percy said.

Ever since Leo got Reyna knocked up when they were twenty-one, (hey, it was after a party and they were both drunk!) Leo moved in to Reyna's place at Camp Jupiter and stayed there. Sure, occasionally, he came back to Camp Half-Blood to visit, but this was his home now.

Jason, on the other hand, chose to alternate between Camp Half-Blood and Camp Jupiter. This year, he was staying at Camp Jupiter.

"Valia, what's wrong?" Percy asked softly.

The teen looked up with teary eyes and said in a hoarse voice, "Nate cheated on me. I just found out earlier."

Percy's eyes filled with anger.

"I'll be there soon," he growled.

"We're not even in the same state, dumbass," Valia said humorlessly.

"It's called 'Forcing-Nico-To-Shadow Travel-Me-There'. I'll be there in a second," he said and cut the connection.

"Nico! Get your lazy _podex_ here, now! We're going to New York!"

* * *

Percy and Nico shadow travelled right into the Jackson-Blofis living room. They spotted Valia still on the couch and Percy's eyes flared once more.

"Tell me, where does this asshole live?"

* * *

Percy knocked on the door of the Marshall household. A middle aged woman opened the door.

"Hello, ma'am. Are you Nate's mother, by any chance?" Percy asked.

"Why, yes. I am. Can I help you sir?" the woman said smiling at him.

"Yes, I belive you can. Your son and I have some business," Percy said, his eyes turning into the color of a raging ocean.

"Certainly. I'll call him down," the woman replied. Then she screamed, "Nate! Someone wants to see you!"

When her son came to join them, she said, "I'll leave you two to sort things out." Then she hissed to her son, "This better not be anything bad." She left right after that.

Percy turned his eyes to the teenage boy standing in front of him. He towered over him, glaring ferociously.

"So, you're the cheating ex-boyfriend," he growled.

"That would be me," Nate said offhandedly. Mistake number one.

"And what makes you think that it was okay for you to do that?" Percy seethed.

"She wasn't giving me what I want. So I took another," Nate replied. Mistake number two.

"And what makes you think that _I_ am okay with you doing that?"

"I don't know! What are you anyway? Her dad? Her ex who still cares about her? The guy she moved on to?" Mistake number three.

"Even worse. I'm her older brother," Percy said.

_ Oh, shit._

* * *

Percy strutted back into his mom's apartment.

"Mission accomplished," he announced with a smug grin.

* * *

**This was shorter than my usual one-shots, I think... Oh well.**

**How'd you like it? Tell me in a review!**

**~XxYesterdayTodayTomorrowxX**


	3. Death by Baby

**Sup peeps?**

**Sorry for not updating, by the way. I lacked inspiration.**

**So, without further ado, the next installment of MBB!**

**Disclaimer: I don't own PJO, or the plot for this chapter. The plot came from music lover bwg.**

* * *

(Valia is ten months old, Percy is 17)

Percy unlocked the door to his apartment. Well, actually it was his mom's apartment but you get the point. He and Annabeth were fighting some empousai and Annabeth got a lot of mud on her. Since camp was too far away and coincidentally, they were close to his apartment building, they went there to clean up.

As he opened the door, Percy could hear and smell his mom cooking.

"You can use the shower, Wise Girl. You know where your clothes are, right?" he asked his girlfriend, who came there often enough she had some of her clothes in his drawers.

Annabeth walked into his room and shut the door.

Percy lazily walked over to the couch. Plopping down on it, he heard a childish coo. Smiling, he turned his head and saw his baby sister Valia Blofis. Well, his half-sister actually but his baby sister nonetheless. She was clad in a baby size Camp Half-Blood t-shirt Chiron gave his mom as congratulations. Where he got it, Percy didn't know. Valia put on her pouty face and raised her arms, wanting Percy to pick her up. He complied without complaining.

"Hey there kiddo! How are you?" he said softly. She babbled and cooed.

Percy chuckled. Then he noticed that Riptide was peeking out of his pocket, but he didn't mind. Nothing could happen, right?

Wrong.

* * *

"Percy!" Sally exclaimed when she saw her son on the sofa.

"Hi, mom," the teen replied.

"What are you doing here? I thought you were at camp!" she said.

"I asked Chiron if we could spend the day out of camp, but we ended up battling a few empousai, and went here to clean up."

"We?" the woman said, raising a brow.

"Me and Annabeth," Percy said.

"Annabeth and I," Sally automatically corrected. Hey, being married to and English teacher had its influences.

"Yeah, Annabeth and I."

"Where is Annabeth?" Sally asked her son.

"She's in the shower. Got a whole bunch of mud on her," Percy answered.

"Well, I'm glad you're—Percy, watch out!" Sally suddenly screamed.

"Wha—Aaaaaaahhh!" he screamed and pounced off the couch. While he was talking with his mom, he put Valia next to him and apparently she took Riptide out from his pocket. How he didn't feel it, he would never know. She had uncapped the sword-pen and managed to swing it, albeit very clumsily, and almost chopped his head off had he not jumped out of the way.

"Percy, what the…?!" Annabeth exclaimed, rushing out of the bathroom, a hair dryer in hand, her blonde curls still dripping.

She took in the scene. Her boyfriend was sprawled on the floor, panick etched on his face. Sally had her hands clapped over her mouth. And the most surprising sight was Valia, a ten month old _baby_, had Riptide in her meaty baby hands, and she was laughing. Annabeth placed the hair dryer on a table beside her and gingerly walked over to the girl and gently pried the three foot long sword off her hands. She found Riptide's cap lying on the couch and with trembling hands, she capped the sword, turning it back into a pen.

Sally let out a sigh of relief.

"Thank you, Annabeth," she said.

"Wow, who would have thought of this? Death by baby..." Percy muttered, lifting himself off the floor and dusting himself.

"Death by baby..." Annabeth echoed. "Here." She handed the pen back to him.

He accepted it and turned to his sister.

"You see, Valia, this is a pen," he started, then uncapped it. "But, this, is a sword. A pen," he capped it, "is not going to do owie," he uncapped it again, "a sword, is gonna do big owie. My sword is gonna do super big owie. So you don't take this, okay?"

The baby cooed and nodded.

"Whoa, she actually understood..."

Sally nodded in awe. "Good job, Percy. I hope you do as well with your kids."

"As long as I don't die before even getting married... WAIT? KIDS?!"

* * *

**This was definitely short. Sorry.**

**Yes, it was meant to end like that. I don't know why, it just was.**

**How'd you like it? Tell me in a review!**

**HAPPY NEW YEAR!**

**~XxYesterdayTodayTomorrowxX**


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